A Lesson From Natasha

In 2007, Terrance Aeriel, Iofemi Hightower and Dashon Harvey were brutally executed in the schoolyard of Mount Vernon Elementary in Newark, New Jersey.  Terrance's sister Natasha Aeriel was raped, attacked with a machete, shot and left for dead.... But, God had other plans!  Many were outraged by this murder when it happened. As time went on, most forgot.  I have been following the story from the first report.  The first defendent in the slayings was sentenced to 3 life sentences Monday, with the trials of 5 other defendents to follow.  But, that is not my focus.......
I want to focus on the survivor. With all that Natasha went through and lost, she could have given up.  She literally could have cursed God and died.  However, she chose to fight.  She chose to profess her faith and thankfulness to God. In the past month, she has not only bravely testified during the trial but she has graduated from college as well.
The journey of this young lady has humbled me. I confess that I am guilty at times of being ungrateful...of whining, murmuring and complaining.... of threatening to "faint" in the face of some "hard" thing or situation.  No more! I will do better! I will live a life with a more grateful heart.  I will push through whatever may try to block my path, all the while giving God glory. 

Heart Song

Yes - I am brand new
And its not due to my hair, nails or clothes I wear
But because I have been made aware that the inside needed to be upgraded too
I mean that old model was fine for where I used to be
But "used" hearts don't age gracefully in this arduous journey that life can sometimes be
So, you showed me that I must renew this altar of my heart daily.
Watch what my ears hear and my eyes see
Because if I do ears have not heard , eyes seen, nor thought entered into the heart, the things that you have in store for me
Cover me with your grace and glory
Make me bold to stand for all that's TRUE.
Shine your light through me Lord, and draw others to want to shine for you.

Rotten!

I was talking with a coworker today about her marriage. She stated that she was "spoiled" and explained what that looks like in her relationship. It made me think about what being "spoiled" means to me. It means sincerely listening to what's on my mind, knowing me well enough to tell when "Superwoman" needs to remove her cape & be rescued by "Superman", remembering the little things that make me smile, doing the mundane things that show that you care...Like, surprising me with my favorite ice cream or singing my favorite song, holding me in silence or speaking life into my dreams...Tuning into/taking care of the things concerning my heart/Spirit/soul. Growing up, I was the strong one and have carried that into my adult life... and while, I probably could do this thing called life alone, I am realizing now more than ever that I don't want to. I desire to be a "brat" ... Yep, spoiled rotten!

Insomnia and Defrosting the Freezer

I could not fall asleep last night.  I had not taken a nap during the day and yet, at 3...4...5 am, I was wide awake.  I was actually on an adrenaline high.  You see, I had begun to imagine the life that I alway picture for myself in the quiet times when there is no one else but me and God.  For the first time in a long time, that life seemed tangible, palpitable...real!  I realized that I was in a place in my life where I was ready to take the risks necessary to make the vision materialize.  The first step for me is making room.  I remember, the first time I helped my Grandmother defrost her freezer.  At first, I was confused because I couldn't understand why she was intentionally taking all of the frozen food out of the freezer, when she reminded me daily not to keep opening the freezer door because the food would go bad. (LOL)  As we took things out of the freezer, my grandmother would make three areas: things that go back in the freezer, things to be used soon, and things to be discarded because they had been in the freezer too long.  When we were finished, we could once again tell, what we had and what we needed.... and for what we need...there was space to hold it.  God began to speak to me about taking inventory of my life.  It is time for me to defrost the freezer of my life and figure out what goes back in for preservation, things that need to be used because they are about to expire or things that need to be discarded because I had allowed them to sit hidden, past their prime...no longer good for the purpose in which I held on to them....taking up space.  I'm defrosting my freezer and making room for the life that God intends for me!